I think it's very important for all of us to really contemplate the life we are living. We can't afford to be ignorant and we must not waste our time in anger. And yes, writing helps a lot. It's always crazy to see how some of our best work is created during very dark moments. I really enjoyed reading this essay and the poem. Thank you for sharing it!
This is one of the most beautiful posts I've read since joining Substack. Thank you, Jamie; you've brightened my day!
I admire honest reads that are vulnerable and truthful, combined with a love of life, emotions in motion, old parts of ourselves, and current struggles that make us feel human and poetic. Sharing something that can truly inspire others strikes a special chord in the vast ocean of empty knowledge that surrounds us.
Knowing how difficult it is to stop, pause, and change the course of endless generations who have lived and felt differently, I admire this kind of intention. It takes a lifetime, but the work is very important, if not the most important, because of the collective ripple effect, which you already understand: "I am here to help break that cycle and to to see my own sons widen that circle even further. "
I consider myself fortunate to have discovered words that are warm, clear, and beautiful, which makes me wonder and feel deeply. Words, emotions, and memories just waiting to emerge into bright light from the shadow of our psyche:
"For me poetry expresses what mere conversation cannot do. Words can free me. Words can help me learn to forgive and and in the spaces between those words I learn how to heal. Poetry captures the essence of emotion and experience.
Poetry helps me explore my feelings and memories through listening to and through speaking out loud another’s poems, as well as through the creative writing and recitation of my own. Feelings and memories as wounded ghosts are hidden in the shadows of my psyche."
Just delightful I love the quotes and all of the brilliant metaphorical wordplay.
Oh Katerina. Thank you! Your words are kind and meet me as a hug. Thanks for meeting me in the spaces between the words as well. I hope and pray that out beyond mere words that we can all seed and grow the fruit of love together. I appreciate your support. Writing can be lonely. We do it for our own gratitude, forgiveness and healing. Yet to share it is definitely a gift. Thanks for being here! Bless you 🙏❤️
In my case, on my 60th birthday, we carted all my journals to the burn barrel by the pond. One by one I surrendered them to the flames. Letting go. I have not regretted it for a moment. The ashes of a lifetime of lament, reflection, enquiry, dreams, musings. The phoenix that rose took the shape of an unencumbered soul. "Phones and computers hide a haunted mansion of gigabyte ghosts larger than any castle." As do old journals!
Thank you so much Muriel for reading and this beautiful reflection. I was never a journal writer or a diary guy growing up. It seems our phones are the new journals for the next generation. I can see where those pages would be full of ghosts. What a beautiful ceremony to burn it all, and let it go. That gives me goosebumps! It’s a wild wet day here in Ontario and I bless you a beautiful summer! I appreciate you 🙏❤️
About the same age I burnt 30 odd journals dating back 20 years or so. I know there was some 'good stuff' here and there in them, but I would never have trawled through 100s of pages just to find them. I trust the process of writing poetry (as Jamie outlines) and that genuine old gems will crop up again in some form or other.
"Torn open again by the sharp edges of words"--yes, I feel your pain. A beautiful poem and a heartfelt essay--It is so courageous of you to want to break the cycle for your self and your children. 🙏🙏 Blessings ✨
Thank you so much for reading and for the kind comments! It’s definitely a journey! Creating, and reacting are the same letters with two totally different meanings. I am courageously trying to lean into creating. So I write to invite my ghosts in as well as to set them free. Thank you so so much. 🙏❤️
And there are the old enchantments! It must be all of 50y ago that I was volunteered to help move a distant relative. He was in his early 90s long retired from teaching English, still though a Gaelic speaker from the Outer Isles. Robustly he was leaving his library behind - he had survived an exceptionally lethal war in his youth - and retained the humour of philosophy. Yet he allowed or was conceded one wish, he took his Gaelic poetry with him.
God speed, wings of poesy and all that ... and more to come!😊
I traveled upside down and backwards through the past and I took my power back and that’s that said and done my suitcase is sliming down! I truly trust your words of masculine sensitivity and sensibility, Sir Jamie. Have a blessed growing season, Geraldine
Thank you so much Geraldine! Upside down and backwards you make me smile! Are you telling me you only have one suitcase lol! Thank you for always showing up with your support! Bless you 🙏❤️
I love your gentle and courageous tending to the wounds Jamie.
I have written a lot about the welcoming of all emotions myself. There is no other way.
"Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.” Rilke
Carolyn Myss is one of my favs: “our biography becomes our biology”. So true. The "story" we tell ourselves can have so much power over our lives. And how empowering to know we can always write a new one.
Thanks Jo. I really resonate with - our biography becomes our biology. It’s always a journey from fear to love and all points between. There is no other way. Bless you some fine surfing on these waves. Bless you on your upcoming move. As always, thanks for the support and for meeting me in the spaces between the words. 🙏❤️
I love this title!! 😍 Thank you for sharing with such vulnerability and honesty! I definitely agree about the healing powers of poetry! Letting go is an interesting process! I learned so much about letting go when I moved. ❤️🙏
Wow, this is so powerful. Yes to denying our ghosts dominion over us, but learning to live with the past and accept that it is what shaped us . Thank you, Jamie. This was beautifully written.
This is intense Jamie. Life can be that way. And I feel a sense of my struggle in my relationship so many years ago. Your post reminds me of that…And the question: what is love? is such a call to God. I was thinking of the words that came to me some time ago…”love is all there is” simply to show me that anything less is simply coming from delusion. That all those not-love things are ultimately powerless if seen for what they are. If it doesn’t feel like love, it isn’t. If it isn’t love, it isn’t real.
"I am even starting to learn how to write a thank you to these ghosts and invite them in for a short stay."
yes exactly! I write for the same reason. i want to welcome in my ghosts in order to see what they were trying to tell me, and then I can release them.
It’s taken me a while to learn that! Thank you so much Elizabeth for reading, and for commenting! It’s definitely a journey to self awareness and writing is a door. Bless you 🙏❤️
"Everything you are carrying, you have picked up..." this is so true, except I would add "... and that's on top of inherited baggage of unresolved stuff from one's ancestors" :) ... which if true, opens an interesting possibility - that we can 'set free' some of those who have gone before by bringing healing and closure to issues they were in themselves not able to complete in their own lifetime.
This was a great post by the way Jamie, and a thoughtful and honest account of a very human journey - many parallels in my own, and no doubt other readers' experiences too.
Thanks Josh! Definitely we carry more than one generation has handed down. Lots of energy in those cells that tell our biography and sing our biology! I will check out the reference. If we don’t leave the old stories behind, we never arrive at a full authenticity. Thanks for leading the way. Hope you had a good trip. 🙏❤️
Yes, we are back safely, thank you. Integrating the 'old family stories' (healing the family tree) is quite a journey. But I guess it's all designed to be grist to the mill. All the best, Josh.
A loom of humus weaved into a tapestry of becoming. Was I here? Ask the dust. Thank you so much for reading, repeating and weaving your humus of soul. Bless you 🙏❤️
I think it's very important for all of us to really contemplate the life we are living. We can't afford to be ignorant and we must not waste our time in anger. And yes, writing helps a lot. It's always crazy to see how some of our best work is created during very dark moments. I really enjoyed reading this essay and the poem. Thank you for sharing it!
Thank you so much for reading and for reaching out Ayesha! I couldn’t agree more. I will dive into some of your writing as well. Bless you 🙏❤️
My pleasure!
This is one of the most beautiful posts I've read since joining Substack. Thank you, Jamie; you've brightened my day!
I admire honest reads that are vulnerable and truthful, combined with a love of life, emotions in motion, old parts of ourselves, and current struggles that make us feel human and poetic. Sharing something that can truly inspire others strikes a special chord in the vast ocean of empty knowledge that surrounds us.
Knowing how difficult it is to stop, pause, and change the course of endless generations who have lived and felt differently, I admire this kind of intention. It takes a lifetime, but the work is very important, if not the most important, because of the collective ripple effect, which you already understand: "I am here to help break that cycle and to to see my own sons widen that circle even further. "
I consider myself fortunate to have discovered words that are warm, clear, and beautiful, which makes me wonder and feel deeply. Words, emotions, and memories just waiting to emerge into bright light from the shadow of our psyche:
"For me poetry expresses what mere conversation cannot do. Words can free me. Words can help me learn to forgive and and in the spaces between those words I learn how to heal. Poetry captures the essence of emotion and experience.
Poetry helps me explore my feelings and memories through listening to and through speaking out loud another’s poems, as well as through the creative writing and recitation of my own. Feelings and memories as wounded ghosts are hidden in the shadows of my psyche."
Just delightful I love the quotes and all of the brilliant metaphorical wordplay.
Oh Katerina. Thank you! Your words are kind and meet me as a hug. Thanks for meeting me in the spaces between the words as well. I hope and pray that out beyond mere words that we can all seed and grow the fruit of love together. I appreciate your support. Writing can be lonely. We do it for our own gratitude, forgiveness and healing. Yet to share it is definitely a gift. Thanks for being here! Bless you 🙏❤️
Ripe juicy words diving into freedom! Thank you dear Lady Katerina. Standing tall, Geraldine
This, Jamie, is the conversation. I decided today to read the words now I’m going to listen to them.
Beautiful poem
Thanks so much Tearlach! You sing the words and that is a huge conversation! Glad to be in the spaces together here! Thanks for your support! 🙏❤️
In my case, on my 60th birthday, we carted all my journals to the burn barrel by the pond. One by one I surrendered them to the flames. Letting go. I have not regretted it for a moment. The ashes of a lifetime of lament, reflection, enquiry, dreams, musings. The phoenix that rose took the shape of an unencumbered soul. "Phones and computers hide a haunted mansion of gigabyte ghosts larger than any castle." As do old journals!
Thank you so much Muriel for reading and this beautiful reflection. I was never a journal writer or a diary guy growing up. It seems our phones are the new journals for the next generation. I can see where those pages would be full of ghosts. What a beautiful ceremony to burn it all, and let it go. That gives me goosebumps! It’s a wild wet day here in Ontario and I bless you a beautiful summer! I appreciate you 🙏❤️
Sending my love Lady Muriel, me too, all up in a bonfire!!!
About the same age I burnt 30 odd journals dating back 20 years or so. I know there was some 'good stuff' here and there in them, but I would never have trawled through 100s of pages just to find them. I trust the process of writing poetry (as Jamie outlines) and that genuine old gems will crop up again in some form or other.
"Torn open again by the sharp edges of words"--yes, I feel your pain. A beautiful poem and a heartfelt essay--It is so courageous of you to want to break the cycle for your self and your children. 🙏🙏 Blessings ✨
Thank you so much for reading and for the kind comments! It’s definitely a journey! Creating, and reacting are the same letters with two totally different meanings. I am courageously trying to lean into creating. So I write to invite my ghosts in as well as to set them free. Thank you so so much. 🙏❤️
Thank you mate, for taking on such a vast subject as this, and with such soulful dexterity! Appreciate you! ❤️
Thanks mate! You have been such a source of inspiration and information that has allowed me to lean into transformation! I appreciate you 🙏❤️
Walking this path with you, alone, together. 🙏
And there are the old enchantments! It must be all of 50y ago that I was volunteered to help move a distant relative. He was in his early 90s long retired from teaching English, still though a Gaelic speaker from the Outer Isles. Robustly he was leaving his library behind - he had survived an exceptionally lethal war in his youth - and retained the humour of philosophy. Yet he allowed or was conceded one wish, he took his Gaelic poetry with him.
God speed, wings of poesy and all that ... and more to come!😊
Beautiful Sir !!!
Such a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing Philip! Thanks for meeting me on these wings of words.
Definitely more to come! Bless you 🙏❤️
I traveled upside down and backwards through the past and I took my power back and that’s that said and done my suitcase is sliming down! I truly trust your words of masculine sensitivity and sensibility, Sir Jamie. Have a blessed growing season, Geraldine
Thank you so much Geraldine! Upside down and backwards you make me smile! Are you telling me you only have one suitcase lol! Thank you for always showing up with your support! Bless you 🙏❤️
I love your gentle and courageous tending to the wounds Jamie.
I have written a lot about the welcoming of all emotions myself. There is no other way.
"Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.” Rilke
Carolyn Myss is one of my favs: “our biography becomes our biology”. So true. The "story" we tell ourselves can have so much power over our lives. And how empowering to know we can always write a new one.
Thank you for what you do here Jamie. 🙏❤️
Thanks Jo. I really resonate with - our biography becomes our biology. It’s always a journey from fear to love and all points between. There is no other way. Bless you some fine surfing on these waves. Bless you on your upcoming move. As always, thanks for the support and for meeting me in the spaces between the words. 🙏❤️
Thank you Jamie. 😊
I love this title!! 😍 Thank you for sharing with such vulnerability and honesty! I definitely agree about the healing powers of poetry! Letting go is an interesting process! I learned so much about letting go when I moved. ❤️🙏
Thanks Sadhbh! With a move like that, you definitely have to purge! Thanks so much for reading, and for the support. Yes to poetry. 🙏❤️
Wow, this is so powerful. Yes to denying our ghosts dominion over us, but learning to live with the past and accept that it is what shaped us . Thank you, Jamie. This was beautifully written.
Thanks Jenn! Thanks for reading and your kind comments 🙏❤️
Wonderful to read and contemplate, so thank you !
This is intense Jamie. Life can be that way. And I feel a sense of my struggle in my relationship so many years ago. Your post reminds me of that…And the question: what is love? is such a call to God. I was thinking of the words that came to me some time ago…”love is all there is” simply to show me that anything less is simply coming from delusion. That all those not-love things are ultimately powerless if seen for what they are. If it doesn’t feel like love, it isn’t. If it isn’t love, it isn’t real.
The Journey from fear to love is the miracle of our lives. Thank you so much Terra for reading, and for reaching out. Bless you. 🙏❤️
"I am even starting to learn how to write a thank you to these ghosts and invite them in for a short stay."
yes exactly! I write for the same reason. i want to welcome in my ghosts in order to see what they were trying to tell me, and then I can release them.
It’s taken me a while to learn that! Thank you so much Elizabeth for reading, and for commenting! It’s definitely a journey to self awareness and writing is a door. Bless you 🙏❤️
"Everything you are carrying, you have picked up..." this is so true, except I would add "... and that's on top of inherited baggage of unresolved stuff from one's ancestors" :) ... which if true, opens an interesting possibility - that we can 'set free' some of those who have gone before by bringing healing and closure to issues they were in themselves not able to complete in their own lifetime.
This was a great post by the way Jamie, and a thoughtful and honest account of a very human journey - many parallels in my own, and no doubt other readers' experiences too.
The opening line(s) - "The only thing stopping me from arriving / is leaving" - reminded me of the end lines of Wislawa Szymborska's poem "Utopia" (for quick ref can be found here: https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/literature/1996/szymborska/poetry/)
Thanks Josh! Definitely we carry more than one generation has handed down. Lots of energy in those cells that tell our biography and sing our biology! I will check out the reference. If we don’t leave the old stories behind, we never arrive at a full authenticity. Thanks for leading the way. Hope you had a good trip. 🙏❤️
Yes, we are back safely, thank you. Integrating the 'old family stories' (healing the family tree) is quite a journey. But I guess it's all designed to be grist to the mill. All the best, Josh.
Abandon the husk….
To become the grain
🙏❤️
This journey towards (an elusive?) freedom always turns out longer, and steeper, and harder, and more relentless than anticipated.
The baggage lives on...
... in shreds of self left by the wayside, like fallen leaves, decomposing, adding to the soil of life.
You have captured the process so well in your poem, Jamie 🙏 💕
the journey of the metaphorical 1000 miles composed of countless single steps of starting, leaving, arriving, and repeating.
A loom of humus weaved into a tapestry of becoming. Was I here? Ask the dust. Thank you so much for reading, repeating and weaving your humus of soul. Bless you 🙏❤️